The El Chorro Ranch

September 22 – 24, 6028

The Hewgag Brays

Our Noble Grand Humbug, Tim “Lounge Lizard” Mason,
AL‑XXXIV, sounds the hewgag announcing our first opportunity
to experience the  871-acre El Chorro Ranch and yet another
unforgettable 3 days and 2 nights of fraternal gesticulation
among the bibulous brotherhood of equal indignity.


F r i d a y
11:55 Sign in with the GDR. Pick up the Badge of the Day
and Histerical Keepsake. Stake your clampsite.
3:07 The beer kegs are tapped.
4:07 Chapter Mercantile selling a limited edition of
the official commemorative doins shirt and a
multitude of Clamper emblazonment.
4:37 Cast Iron Poticipants check in with the Chief Judge.
6:01 Beans and bread for all Clampers, willing and able.
6:15 Cast Iron Cookoff fare served to grub stub holders.
7:07 Movie selections from the library of Mysterious Moe Van Huss.
S a t u r d a y
6:50 Clamp-luck (good luck… you are on your own) breakfast.
8:36 PBCs report to the hangman.
10:22 Chapter Mercantile open for business.
12:11 Humbug’s weenie with all the fixin’s, by “Corn Dog” Johnny Sfera.
4:26 The Hall of Comparative Ovations commences.
6:15 ClampBanquet served. First class all the way.
7:07 Movie selections scoured from the depths of cyberspace.
8:47 Ad Hoc Cacophonous ClampFire Concerto. Bring Instruments!
S u n d a y
8:32 Breakfast served.
9:46 Raffle drawing.
10:36 Golden Hills Ceremony.
12:01 Clean up and pack trash and recyclables with you.

Raffle Prizes

Raffle Prizes will be a mix of new and recycled merchandise. Anyone with some
cool stuff long forgotten in the attic should haul it out and donate it to Sunday’s
Breakfast Raffle. Raffle Tickets will be sold by roving rafflemeisters Friday and Saturday.

The Historic El Chorro Ranch

The El Chorro Ranch, owned by the Isascson family since 1939, has a long
and interesting history. It was a parcel of the Rancho Julian Spanish land grant. Originally established by the de la Guerra family in 1837. The 876 acre ranch was sold by William Dibblee on Aug. 17, 1938 to Lu Dick. The ranch was then purchased by Charles Baine Isaacson on aug. 11, 1939 in an auction on the courthouse steps. The ranch is known for its great rolling acreage, plentifully supplied with spring water and Lucious growth of grass.

working cattle ranch, etc… there will be a plaque dedication ceremony.

Site Particulars

Extreme fire season.
Bring 2 Gallons of water for the cooks.
12′ vehicle max height.
Sign release at gate.
Fire pit for Cast Iron Cook-Off, Friday night only,


From the North, take US-101 South, 8 miles past Buelton, CA.
From the South, take US-101 North towards Buelton, CA.
Take exit 132, CA-1, North towards Lompoc, CA
Travel approximately 9 miles,
5201 San Julian Rd is on the right.
Follow the signs.

We dug up a map!


Tim “Lounge Lizard” Mason

Thaddeus Haines

Steve Chaves

Rudy Castillo, Dustin DeBrum, Jason Haines, Thad Haines, Greg Hawkins, Tad Hillier, Mark Jorgeson, Pete Kelley, Dennis Philbin, Craig Shannon

Dave Holmes

Jason Haines

Dustin DeBrum

Jeff Dalley

Nemo Volens

Johnny “Corn Dog” Sfera and Rudy Castillo will divide and conquer
in preparing all of the traditional meals.
Humbugs Winnie Roast, Saturday banquet & Sunday breakfast.

Get ‘Er Done!

Heed the call of the hewgag and step up to help out with the fall doins. The humbug
is looking for a few good clampers whose talents will fulfill the distinct and rewarding duties necessary for clamptentment for all. Those brave and willing personages should seek out and avail themselves to the Humbug or BoB.

Cast Iron Cookoff

Kicking off the weekend doins is the Friday Night Cast Iron Cook-Off, judged by
a select set of experienced gastronomes. The winning contender will be awarded
the coveted, perpetual “Flying Pig” trophy. The award ceremony will not consist of a
Certificate of Merit nor involve any cash bestowed upon the winning chef d’fer,
but may include being photographed (only after returning the trophy to the chapter trailer
for safe keeping),

All Cast iron entries must be cooked on the coals not in your clamp abode or
home. All contestants should gather with the Humbug at 4 on Friday afternoon.

The Fine Print

No open flame ground fires of any kind. There is one central fire ring for Cast
Iron Cook-off and disposal of ashes. No motorcycles; no orphans (2-, 3- or 4-legged); no guns, knives, explosives, or weapons of any kind; no illegal or controlled substances. The presence of prohibited items jeopardizes our chapter charter; enforcement will be by all officers of the chapter and violators will be escorted off the premises. Let a brother of sobriety take the reins.


The Rub varies with the costs of Clampsite access and proximity to services for table, chair, and toilet rentals. Your gold dust pays for stuff like: your very own Badge-of- the-Day, stocking our hosted bar with premium beer and liquor, jockey box rental, ice, big and little slippery, an exceptional multi-course gastronomic experience, firewood, bribes, signs, printing, insurance, the web site, and a bunch of stuff you don’t really want to know about. But most importantly it is for the collective funding of an historic plaque!

$151.50 per Red Shirt, if your GoldDust is received by 09/15/23.
($161.50 if unregistered & paying at the door).
$151.50 per PBC, if received by 09/15/23.
($161.50 per unregistered PBC paying at the door.)

Red Shirts

We request that our brothers in good standing register and pay online if you are able. Technically challenged brothers may register and pay by mail.

Blue Shirts (PBCs)

PBCs must be made aware of the Rubric & Pledge and must register online.