Fall Doins 6031

Proclamation

Our Noble Grand Humbug Jason “Hot Pants” Haines, AL‑XXXVII,
sounds the Hewgag and welcomes you to stake your campsite
on 31,000 acres of never before Clamped Paradise.

The next Fall Doins shall commence in all its raucous splendor
the weekend of October the 16th, 17th, and 18th, in this year 6031
of Our Clampevolence at Rancho San Fernando Rey, Est 1804.

In the days when Alta California was vast, sparsely populated, and blessedly untroubled by zoning ordinances, this historic ground formed part of Rancho San Marcos, the largest single ranch in the province.

A mighty land grant was bestowed upon R. and R. Den, whose claim survived California’s admission into the United States in 1850—an uncommon triumph of parchment over bureaucracy. Thereafter, the property passed through the hands of assorted ranchers, speculators, and other ambitious persons, including William Pierce and F. W. Mathiessen.

From 1869 until 1901, a stagecoach route crossed the ranch, carrying travelers, mail, news, and undoubtedly a generous measure of gold dust.

In 1938, Dwight Murphy acquired the property, raised his celebrated Palomino horses, and conferred upon the spread the noble name Rancho San Fernando Rey. Lewis Welch later held the ranch during the consequential construction of Lake Cachuma and Bradbury Dam, when engineers undertook to rearrange the local geography.

In 1957, John T. Galvin acquired the 31,000-acre domain. Three years later, the ranch hosted the United States Olympic equestrian team. Patricia Galvin, no mere spectator to these proceedings, rode as a member of the 1960 and 1964 Olympic teams.

Under the stewardship of the Galvin family, Rancho San Fernando Rey has retained most of the boundaries of the original land grant, with its headquarters situated upon Paradise Road—a name so satisfactory that no Clamper could have improved it.

The family continues to raise cattle, cultivate grapes, and tend olive trees upon this historic ground, thereby producing beef, wine, and oil—three pillars upon which civilization, California, and many a respectable Doins have been built.

Particulars

F r i d a y
11:55 Sign in with the GDR. Pick up the Badge of the Day
and Histerical Keepsake. Stake your clampsite.
3:07 The beer kegs are tapped.
4:07 Chapter Mercantile selling a limited edition of
the official commemorative doins shirt and a
multitude of Clamper emblazonment.
4:37 Cast Iron Poticipants check in with the Chief Judge.
6:01 Beans and bread for all Clampers, willing and able.
6:15 Cast Iron Cookoff fare served to grub stub holders.
7:07 Movie selections from the library of Mysterious Moe Van Huss.
S a t u r d a y
6:50 Clamp-luck (good luck… you are on your own) breakfast.
8:36 PBCs report to the hangman.
10:22 Chapter Mercantile open for business.
12:11 Humbug’s weenie with all the fixin’s, by “Corn Dog” Johnny Sfera.
4:26 The Hall of Comparative Ovations commences.
6:15 ClampBanquet served. First class all the way.
7:07 Movie selections scoured from the depths of cyberspace.
8:47 Ad Hoc Cacophonous ClampFire Concerto. Bring Instruments!
S u n d a y
8:32 Breakfast served.
9:46 Raffle drawing.
10:36 Golden Hills Ceremony.
12:01 Clean up and pack trash and recyclables with you.

Raffle Prizes

Raffle Prizes will be a mix of new and recycled merchandise. Anyone with some
cool stuff long forgotten in the attic should haul it out and donate it to Sunday’s
Breakfast Raffle. Raffle Tickets will be sold by roving rafflemeisters Friday and Saturday.

Directions

From the US-101, take CA-154 to Paradise Road, then follow the signs.

Functionaries

Thad Haines, Steve Chaves, Tim Mason, Kevin Phelan, Tad Hillier, Jeff Dalley,
Todd Marshall, Craig Marshall, Nic Proctor, Nick Koonce
Brothers on the Board (BOBs)

Get ‘Er Done!

Heed the call of the hewgag and step up to help out with the fall doins. The humbug
is looking for a few good clampers whose talents will fulfill the distinct and rewarding duties necessary for clamptentment for all. Those brave and willing personages should seek out and avail themselves to the Humbug or BoB.

Cast Iron Cookoff

Kicking off the weekend doins is the Friday Night Cast Iron Cook-Off, judged by
a select set of experienced gastronomes. The winning contender will be awarded
the coveted, perpetual “Flying Pig” trophy. The award ceremony will not consist of a
Certificate of Merit nor involve any cash bestowed upon the winning chef d’fer,
but may include being photographed (only after returning the trophy to the
chapter trailer for safe keeping),

All proceeds collected from those who wish to savor the cast iron fare, will be divided equally
among the participating cooks in an effort to defray costs and encourage competitive spirit.
All Cast iron entries must be cooked on the coals of the chapter’s BBQ trailer, not in your clamp abode or
home. All contestants should gather with the Humbug at 4 on Friday afternoon.

The Fine Print

We need all attendees to bring 3 gallons of drinking water each and some red oak for the BBQ if available. No fires of any kind. The only fire permitted will be in the chapter’s BBQ trailer.. No motorcycles; no orphans (2-, 3- or 4-legged); no guns, knives, explosives, or weapons of any kind; no illegal or controlled substances. The presence of prohibited items jeopardizes our chapter charter; enforcement will be by all officers of the chapter and violators will be escorted off the premises. Let a brother of sobriety take the reins.

The Rub

The Rub varies with the costs of Clampsite access and proximity to services for table, chair, and toilet rentals. Your gold dust pays for stuff like: your very own Badge-of- the-Day, stocking our hosted bar with premium beer and liquor, jockey box rental, ice, big and little slippery, an exceptional multi-course gastronomic experience, firewood, bribes, signs, printing, insurance, the web site, and a bunch of stuff you don’t really want to know about. But most importantly it is for the collective funding of an historic plaque!

NOTE CRITICAL CUT-OFF DATE: Thursday, 10/01/2026
Late registration or showing up unannounced incurs a $15 penalty!
$151.50 per Red Shirt, if your GoldDust is received by 10/01/2026.
$171.50 per PBC, if received by 10/01/2026.

T-Shirts

prepayment of $20 ensures we have your shirt in your size!
Any extras will be available for $25 on site.

REGISTER NOW!